If You Can’t Avoid it, Enjoy it!

So, the weight of being an adult has been hitting me quite hard. But let’s start from the beginning.

I finished my Master’s program! YEY!
Yes, thank you, thank you! I feel proud of myself too.

But of course, finishing school also means the start of a new chapter. I need to find a job, pay for my own things, and start living as the adult that I am. Which is, honestly, a little scary—what if I can’t find a job? What if I can’t afford my place or my food? What if I can’t even afford myself? I’m expensive! But that’s my parents’ fault, they raised me that way…

Now, let me share a TMI: I’m a privileged woman. And no, I don’t mean I have billions in my bank account (so don’t come kidnapping me). What I mean is that my parents gave me countless opportunities—to see the world, to study and live abroad, and to enjoy my life free of worries. I know how lucky I am, and I’m deeply thankful to them for it. But now comes the shift: it’s my turn to find my place in the world and learn to support myself. And yes, that has me stressing.

Still, worries come and go. It’s not my first time being stressed by situations life throws at me. But this time feels different. Why? Because, for the first time, I’ve had real space to think about what I need and—more importantly—what I want. That, for me, is precious.

Here’s some context: I was raised in a matriarchal family, where the women always had the last word, no exceptions. Don’t get me wrong—I love the women in my family. My grandma, for example, raised seven children on her own 50 years ago, working nonstop and turning all of them into good people. That’s incredible. But my siblings will agree: having a calm, balanced conversation in this family is… almost impossible.

That’s why I appreciate the time I have now to think about me.

It hasn’t always been easy to figure out what I truly like. Growing up surrounded by strong women, I often followed the path they thought was best, instead of exploring my own interests. That’s why having time for myself now feels so valuable: it’s giving me the chance to discover and shape the person I want to become.

And yes, I’ve always been close to my parents. They’ve supported my dreams, but always through their own perspective of what was “best.” Living apart from them has been a life-changer. You know, like when you had a boyfriend who was shit, and spending time apart made you see from an outside perspective how shit he was? No? Just me? Anyway, that distance has given me space to think about life, goals, and dreams on my own terms. And honestly, that independence feels liberating.

I’ve always known that nothing lasts forever, and that’s why I keep moving forward. What’s different now is that I’m actually enjoying the process. I’m learning what makes my days, weeks, and months better and more enjoyable.

That’s also why I opened this blog. I love writing—it calms me. It feels like therapy… but free. Well, 60 dollars per year for the website, but the writing itself is free.

The thing is, instead of just living, I’m trying to enjoy every moment of it. And it sounds cliché, I know… maybe even a little masochistic. But I’ve started embracing it all—the stress, the sadness, the joy. Each feeling has something to teach me.

One thing that stuck with me recently, while watching Sex and the City, is when Carrie talks about being in love with her city, knowing she could do whatever she wanted and New York would support her… or something like that. And without realizing it, that’s exactly how I’ve felt about Shanghai.

It’s almost ironic—I’ve been enjoying this city all along, without even noticing it.

That’s not to say I’m happy every single day. Moving 30+ hours away from my family has been a challenge. But living abroad has been my dream since childhood. (Back then, I wanted to move to London—mainly to be closer to OneD.)

So knowing my family supports me, and that I’m becoming an example for my nieces and nephew, is more than enough. I just want to be the cool aunt.

All of these experiences, I guess—and hope—are shaping the woman I’m becoming. Every single step of this bumpy road called life/adulthood/migration (?). And honestly, I’m loving it.

I love that feeling when everything around you looks the same, but you know inside you’re different. It reminds me of a saying in Spanish: “Nadie se baña dos veces en el mismo río.” A translation would be: “No one can bathe in the same river twice.” The water keeps flowing and changing, and so do we.

At the end of the day, that’s what “if you can’t avoid it, enjoy it” really means. Life keeps moving whether you stress or not, so you might as well learn to dance with it.

We all face those scary transitions in life—graduating, moving away, starting a new job, breakups, friendship breakups (those are even worse). So embrace your changes, and enjoy the process. I hope it helps you get inspired to become the person you want to be. And don’t be scared of making bold moves, the ones that push you out of your comfort zone—those are usually the ones that make you the proudest of yourself.

And whatever struggle you’re passing through, remember that life goes on, and so do the problems. And if you feel like you can’t (even if you don’t), you can always write to me—via email, because I still don’t know if I can even add comments in here.