Been There, Done That: I Failed at Partnerships

I've tried starting businesses five times. With my best friend. With my brother. With university classmates. With people I believed in, who believed in the idea. Five times. Five failures.

Not because the ideas were bad. Not because we didn't have the drive. But because somewhere between the enthusiasm and the execution, things fell apart. And every single time, I learned the same lesson: they weren't showing up the way I was.

When You're the Only One Showing Up

I put everything into these ventures. I mean everything—my time, my energy, my thinking, my follow-through. And I watched as my partners slowly disappeared from the equation. Not maliciously. Just... they had other priorities. Other things that mattered more. And I realized something that took me longer than it should have:

I don't work with people who don't show up.

Not because I'm harsh. But because when you're the only one pulling the weight, it's not a partnership—it's a solo project with dead weight.

And that's not sustainable.

So I stopped blaming myself. I wasn't the problem. The match was the problem.

"You're Capable Enough"

One day, my mom looked at me after another failed attempt and said something that changed everything: "You don't need a partner to build something. You're capable enough."

I didn't believe her.

Not because I didn't trust my mom, I do. But because I was exhausted. I'd just spent 2.5 years living in China, thinking I could have built something bigger in that time. Coming back felt defeated. The narrative in my head was: I need help. I need someone who will actually show up. I'm missing something.

But my mom's words kept echoing: You're capable.

Needing vs. Choosing

Here's what I realized after a lot of thinking:

There's a massive difference between needing a partner to start and needing to think out loud.

I'm the second one.

I'm someone who has to externalize ideas. I need to bounce things off people, hear myself talk, get feedback, not because I'm insecure or lacking confidence, but because that's how my brain processes reality. Some people can sit in silence and solve problems. I need conversation. Neither is wrong. They're just different.

But here's the key: I don't need someone's approval. And I don't need someone to shoulder the weight of a vision that's mine. I especially don't need someone who won't match my commitment.

Once I understood that difference? Everything shifted.

Solo. Then Strategic.

I decided to start my current project alone. Just me, my ideas, and the discipline to execute.

And it worked. Not magically, there were still hard decisions, long days, moments of doubt. But it worked differently. Better. Because the vision stayed intact. The decisions were mine. The responsibility was mine. And there was no dead weight.

Now, here's the plot twist: my project does have two partners. But here's the key difference, they came after I'd already started. They're strategic. They're two of the smartest, most driven programmers I know. They show up. They care. They build. I added them because I needed that specific skill set and mindset, not because I needed someone to validate my ability or share the burden.

The order matters.

Solo first. Strategic partners later, by choice—not by necessity. And only if they match your energy.

Start Alone. Here's Why.

If you have an idea and the drive to build it, here's my hard-won advice:

Start alone.

Worst case scenario? You fail. And honestly? Failing and learning from it isn't a tragedy. It's education. It's data. It's how you get better.

Best case? You succeed. You build something. Congratulations, you made it.

Either way, you'll know the truth: whether you're capable or not. Not in theory. In practice. And you won't be carrying anyone else's weight while you figure it out.

IF YOU'RE ALREADY IN A COMPLICATED PARTNERSHIP - Two Honest Paths

If you're reading this and you're already in a partnership that's... complicated, there are really only two honest paths:

Path 1: You're early. The business hasn't taken off. Sunk costs are low. You can still exit cleanly without decimating your time, money, or energy. If that's you, and something feels wrong? Don't wait for it to feel more wrong. Decide clearly and move on.

Go check my other blog When “Learning the Hard Way” Costs You ¥5,000 for a further example.

Path 2: You're profitable. The business works. You live off the income. Walking away isn't a realistic option right now. Okay. Then the answer is: work through it with calm and intention. Do the work. Take care of your present. Plan for your future. And the moment a window opens, whether that's buying them out, selling your stake, or a clean separation, take it. Don't get comfortable in discomfort just because the money is good. Unless you want of course. After all, we as individuals do whatever we want and feel correct.

And listen to this part carefully: Never, ever gift your work.

That means: Don't take less than your contribution is worth. Don't stay in a partnership out of guilt or fear. Your work has value. Price it accordingly.

You're Not Alone in This

I'm not saying you should never have a business partner. I'm saying: don't confuse needing them with choosing them.

There's a huge difference.

If you're sitting with a nagging feeling that maybe you could build something alone? You probably can. And if you fail trying? You'll have earned the right to know that. And that my dear reader is clarity.

Pitbull has you back, remember he has “Been there, done that”. So don’t feel alone in this.